Thank You, Pat Robertson

Having been overly preoccupied in recent weeks with some complex software development issues, I must belatedly—but very sincerely—issue a heartfelt Thank You to the Rev. Pat Robertson, whose recent actions appear to have done so much to rescue America, and thereby have permanently established him as one of my greatest personal heroes.

Consider that just after New Year’s, Robertson revealed to national journalists that in one of his periodical off-the-record conversations with God, the Almighty had casually informed the good Reverend of His decision to have President Bush reelected, probably in a landslide.

Now as history books record, when our own former President LBJ had chosen to appoint some individual to high office and that fact was arrogantly leaked to the media, his typical reaction was to demonstrate his own political omnipotence and punish the leaker by claiming the story was false and immediately making it so, appointing someone else. Since LBJ even on his most expansive days probably regarded Himself as being no more than God’s understudy or protégé, we should not be surprised that the Great Enforcer of Leviticus and Deuteronomy has taken an equally harsh line with annoying leakers, and apparently decided to embarrass and discredit his erstwhile confident by ensuring Bush’s defeat, probably in a landslide.

Certainly this appears the most logical explanation behind the Administration’s recent Immigration Reform proposal, which has seemingly become the centerpiece of proposed domestic policy agenda between now and Election Day.


Now sending an army of over 100,000 American Christians to outdo the ancient Crusaders and begin a long-term occupation of the fabled capital city and heartland of the great Islamic Empire of the Middle Ages for no apparent reason other than as a means of damping-down growing anti-American Islamicist fervor in that part of the world is surely the most insane foreign policy endeavor of America’s 200-plus-year history.

But apparently in hopes of achieving a proper mixture between foreign and domestic policy, the Bushies have now decided to balance that action with what is surely the most insane domestic policy proposal of our 200-plus-year history as well. This is certainly the conclusion which one can draw from the somewhat sketchy details unveiled by leading administration officials a couple of weeks ago.

Under the proposal, any American employer with an unfilled job opening may post that opening on the Internet and immediately import an at-will foreign worker to “temporarily” fill that job, since the “magic of the marketplace” proves that all open jobs are axiomatically unattractive to American workers. Thus, if Walmart currently pays its “associates” $8.25 an hour with some benefits, it could immediately lower its compensation scheme to $5.25 an hour with no benefits, tut-tut in disappointment when 90% of its workforce quickly quit, then utilize the chartered freight-trains and buses it had thoughtfully prepared to immediately import a million Mexicans to replace them. This really does appear to be the intent of the Bush Proposal.

Furthermore, given the Administration’s noted humanitarian bent and its desire to foster Latino entrepreneurship, we should not be surprised at some of the subtler aspects of the Bush Plan. For example, under the heightened border patrol regime put in place during the 1990s, the cost paid by illegal immigrants to smugglers has steadily risen into the thousands of dollars each and significant numbers of border crossers die each year in the scorching Arizona desert. As proposed by the Bushies, current smugglers have merely to rebrand themselves American “employers,” post their “job” openings on the Internet, then quietly charge their Third World “applicants” a hefty but hidden fee covering travel, overhead, a healthy profit, and a week’s minimum wage’s, afterward telling their erstwhile employees to “get lost”—which they will eagerly do, in Los Angeles or New York.


Presumably, the goal of the politics-uber-alles Bush White House is to appeal to Latino and immigrant voters. I suspect this media strategy will be quite successful—for the first two seconds until Democratic organizers inform heavily-immigrant SEIU or hotel workers that Bush has proposed allowing their employers to immediately import unlimited numbers of minimum-wage foreign strike-breakers from everywhere in the world. After those two seconds, El Busho will be lucky to get 1% of the (overwhelmingly) working-class Latino vote.

And given all the current grim facts about our jobless “recovery,” we shouldn’t expect El W’s share of the Anglo working-class vote to end up much higher.

Considering the rising immigration tensions in California and elsewhere—brought on by tough economic times—we must pay a deep debt of gratitude to a White House that has stumbled upon the best—perhaps the only—sure means of absolutely unifying recent immigrants with the native born, Anglos with Latinos, immigrant activists with anti-immigration zealots. We should all get our cameras ready for this once-in-an-eternity chance of watching organizers for UNITE and the KKK marching arm-in-arm, while MALDEF and FAIR together to man the phone banks, working day and night between now and November behind the common theme of “Save Our Jobs and Our Country.”

After all, Bush always promised to be a uniter not a divider. More than that, he’s chosen to fulfil Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech after decades of neglect.

And God Bless You, Pat Robertson…

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